Lent: Day Thirty Nine

And he went a little farther and fell on his face and prayed saying “My , if it is possible, let this cup pass from me and yet not as I will, but as you will. -Matthew 26:36-46

Do you ever struggle to know how to pray? To be deeply experience something so painful or heart-wrenching, all you can really muster is the name of the Lord? I’ve understood this more this year than ever before. On those really hard days, as a born-again believer, my head struggles with my heart as my heart struggles to put into play the truths I have read in scripture. It can be difficult to move from knowing these things to fully relying on them. My mind knows God is our creator, he is omnipresent, the healer, the alpha and omega. He knows my need before I speak it. He will never leave me nor forsake me, and works all things together for good.

But what about the pain? At times this year in the midst of walking through a very uncertain, potentially devastating valley with our sons health, I felt sometimes like not a very strong Christian.

This year, I’ve had to learn to really lean on God and trust him to lead no matter what. He has shown me the beautiful gift it is to have others willing to stand in the gap praying on our behalf.

“He is good, and his promises are true!” These are words I have had to remind myself of…this has been a struggle, and yet there’s a sweet goodness in fully relying on God to be my strength. To be able to breathe, lead, guide, or even heal. If he chooses.

Some days I basically can only say His name when I pray. Jesus, help! Please help, please guide, please ________. But if not, please help me not be bitter. Please hold us. And above all else if the healing doesn’t come, hold tight to my son. Use this for your glory, but don’t let my son’s situation destroy his faith in you, God!

I’ve had a mixed feeling of presenting my requests before God and yet praying “let this cup pass,” because I know His purposes are higher than ours. Hebrews 7:25 reminds us that Jesus intercedes for us! Some days it’s enough to call on his name and know the God of all the universe hears our cry, and that Jesus prays to the Father on our behalf.

We have a God who knows the pains of this earth. He cares, He sees, and He hears. And we have the great promises of His word. And even in the suffering we can turn to Him. Would you trust in that with me today.